when your anxiety and depression ease up a little and you feel a little happy for the first time in awhile and that in itself makes you anxious because it’s such a foreign feeling that you’re not used to that something must be wrong with you
“Bravery comes in all forms. Sometimes it’s standing up to a bully or sometimes it’s leading a protest, sometimes it’s eating a full meal, leaving the house or simply choosing to live for another day. No form of bravery is less important than another.”—You’ve done so well and I am proud of you. (via yourbodyisagarden)
“I wish I could describe it to someone who can’t feel it.
To help them understand.
The way my heart starts to race.
The way the doom and sadness starts to set in.
That sense of failure I feel over and over as I feel it take control, even though I tried over and over to tell myself, “it’s all in your head.”
The way I can’t get it out if my head ever.
The way it sits heavy on my heart, making me feel broken.
The way when a panic attack starts from walking into a store, when the air turns hot as the devil walks in. My ears ring, cotton fills them. I can’t swallow as my throat dries up. My eyes see the the spots and the edges begin to grow darker like an old filter on a picture. I can’t catch my breath, as all I think is, don’t pass out. Not here. Not with all these people. Don’t let them know you are so weak. I abandon my cart, my groceries I’ve collected and struggle my way, stumbling my way through prayers to make it back to my car. Where I sit back letting the cool air soothe me, another failed attempt at a simple task.
The way the tears fall from my eyes when I have to leave work because, I just can’t. I can’t breathe. I can’t think.
The way I struggle through a doctors appointment too afraid to tell them the medicine doesn’t fight it all away because I don’t want to take more pills. The way I become afraid they will take them away but some many people use them for worst things and one day they won’t believe me either.
The way I wonder if there is anything more I could do, anything at all, to make myself ok.”—K.wills (via kwillsandink)
i need mentally ill characters represented in media because when I was falling apart at therapy and had to leave the room to collect myself I had “I miss the mountains” in my head and I felt validated and not alone and that shit is so important don’t fuck with me
“The fact that you’re struggling doesn’t make you a burden. It doesn’t make you unloveable or undesirable or undeserving of care. It doesn’t make you too much or too sensitive or too needy. It makes you human. Everyone struggles. Everyone has a difficult time coping, and at times, we all fall apart. During these times, we aren’t always easy to be around — and that’s okay. No one is easy to be around one hundred percent of the time. Yes, you may sometimes be unpleasant or difficult. And yes, you may sometimes do or say things that make the people around you feel helpless or sad. But those things aren’t all of who you are and they certainly don’t discount your worth as a human being. The truth is that you can be struggling and still be loved. You can be difficult and still be cared for. You can be less than perfect, and still be deserving of compassion and kindness.”—Daniell Koepke (via internal-acceptance-movement)
When I worked at a non-profit that handled suicide prevention, I had access to the donation records. Each month, a specific man donated 15$ to our organization. It was like clockwork.. same day, same man, he had been doing this for over 4 years. It always seemed odd to me but I never questioned it… until I saw a note attached one month. "For Noah- Dad"
his donation was once his child’s allowance.
I can promise you, they would miss you for the rest of their lives.
Realising that nobody can save me but myself. I could have the best therapist in the world & the right medication for me but it’s worth nothing without motivation. Self motivating is very really challenging for me, especially since I’m lethargic a lot of the time.
This is the big, scary truth about trauma: there is no such thing as “getting over it.” The five stages of grief model marks universal stages in learning to accept loss, but the reality is in fact much bigger: a major life disruption leaves a new normal in its wake. There is no “back to the old me.” You are different now, full stop.
This is not a wholly negative thing. Healing from trauma can also mean finding new strength and joy. The goal of healing is not a papering-over of changes in an effort to preserve or present things as normal. It is to acknowledge and wear your new life — warts, wisdom, and all — with courage.
2. Presence is always better than distance.
There is a curious illusion that in times of crisis people “need space.” I don’t know where this assumption originated, but in my experience it is almost always false. Trauma is a disfiguring, lonely time even when surrounded in love; to suffer through trauma alone is unbearable. Do not assume others are reaching out, showing up, or covering all the bases.
It is a much lighter burden to say, “Thanks for your love, but please go away,” than to say, “I was hurting and no one cared for me.” If someone says they need space, respect that. Otherwise, err on the side of presence.
3. Healing is seasonal, not linear.
It is true that healing happens with time. But in the recovery wilderness, emotional healing looks less like a line and more like a wobbly figure-8. It’s perfectly common to get stuck in one stage for months, only to jump to another end entirely … only to find yourself back in the same old mud again next year.
Recovery lasts a long, long time. Expect seasons.
4. Surviving trauma takes “firefighters” and “builders.” Very few people are both.
This is a tough one. In times of crisis, we want our family, partner, or dearest friends to be everything for us. But surviving trauma requires at least two types of people: the crisis team — those friends who can drop everything and jump into the fray by your side, and the reconstruction crew — those whose calm, steady care will help nudge you out the door into regaining your footing in the world. In my experience, it is extremely rare for any individual to be both a firefighter and a builder. This is one reason why trauma is a lonely experience. Even if you share suffering with others, no one else will be able to fully walk the road with you the whole way.
A hard lesson of trauma is learning to forgive and love your partner, best friend, or family even when they fail at one of these roles. Conversely, one of the deepest joys is finding both kinds of companions beside you on the journey.
5. Grieving is social, and so is healing.
For as private a pain as trauma is, for all the healing that time and self-work will bring, we are wired for contact. Just as relationships can hurt us most deeply, it is only through relationship that we can be most fully healed.
It’s not easy to know what this looks like — can I trust casual acquaintances with my hurt? If my family is the source of trauma, can they also be the source of healing? How long until this friend walks away? Does communal prayer help or trivialize?
Seeking out shelter in one another requires tremendous courage, but it is a matter of life or paralysis. One way to start is to practice giving shelter to others.
6. Do not offer platitudes or comparisons. Do not, do not, do not.
“I’m so sorry you lost your son, we lost our dog last year … ” “At least it’s not as bad as … ” “You’ll be stronger when this is over.” “God works in all things for good!”
When a loved one is suffering, we want to comfort them. We offer assurances like the ones above when we don’t know what else to say. But from the inside, these often sting as clueless, careless, or just plain false.
Trauma is terrible. What we need in the aftermath is a friend who can swallow her own discomfort and fear, sit beside us, and just let it be terrible for a while.
7. Allow those suffering to tell their own stories.
Of course, someone who has suffered trauma may say, “This made me stronger,” or “I’m lucky it’s only (x) and not (z).” That is their prerogative. There is an enormous gulf between having someone else thrust his unsolicited or misapplied silver linings onto you, and discovering hope for one’s self. The story may ultimately sound very much like “God works in all things for good,” but there will be a galaxy of disfigurement and longing and disorientation in that confession. Give the person struggling through trauma the dignity of discovering and owning for himself where, and if, hope endures.
8. Love shows up in unexpected ways.
This is a mystifying pattern after trauma, particularly for those in broad community: some near-strangers reach out, some close friends fumble to express care. It’s natural for us to weight expressions of love differently: a Hallmark card, while unsatisfying if received from a dear friend, can be deeply touching coming from an old acquaintance.
Ultimately every gesture of love, regardless of the sender, becomes a step along the way to healing. If there are beatitudes for trauma, I’d say the first is, “Blessed are those who give love to anyone in times of hurt, regardless of how recently they’ve talked or awkwardly reconnected or visited cross-country or ignored each other on the metro.” It may not look like what you’d request or expect, but there will be days when surprise love will be the sweetest.
9. Whatever doesn’t kill you …
In 2011, after a publically humiliating year, comedian Conan O’Brien gave students at Dartmouth College the following warning:
"Nietzsche famously said, ‘Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.’ … What he failed to stress is that it almost kills you.”
Odd things show up after a serious loss and creep into every corner of life: insatiable anxiety in places that used to bring you joy, detachment or frustration towards your closest companions, a deep distrust of love or presence or vulnerability.
There will be days when you feel like a quivering, cowardly shell of yourself, when despair yawns as a terrible chasm, when fear paralyzes any chance for pleasure. This is just a fight that has to be won, over and over and over again.
10. … Doesn’t kill you.
Living through trauma may teach you resilience. It may help sustain you and others in times of crisis down the road. It may prompt humility. It may make for deeper seasons of joy. It may even make you stronger.
It also may not.
In the end, the hope of life after trauma is simply that you have life after trauma. The days, in their weird and varied richness, go on. So will you.
”—Catherine Woodiwiss, “A New Normal: Ten Things I’ve Learned About Trauma” (via wow-united)
“Let whatever you do today be enough. Let go of the judgement you have about what you should be or could be doing, and today, allow yourself to simply be. Comparing yourself and your journey may be habitual, but it gets you nowhere. It makes you feel worse and it keeps you stuck. So stop fixating on where everyone else is, and start giving yourself permission to be exactly where you are. Quiet the voice telling you to do more and be more, and trust that in this moment, who you are, where you are at, and what you are doing is enough. You will get to where you need to be in your own time. Until then, breathe. Breathe and be patient with yourself and your process. You are doing the best you can to cope and survive amid your struggles, and that’s all you can ask of yourself. It’s enough. You are enough.”—Daniell Koepke (via internal-acceptance-movement)
1. Recognise that panic attacks are a mind state and not a physical risk. A panic attack can be a very frightening and uncomfortable experience. However, it doesn’t indicate a real physical risk – even although it feels that way.
2. Try to grasp that you are not alone. Panic attacks are relatively common. They’re an anxiety disorder that many other people share.
3. Understand what panic is. Panic is excess adrenaline running through your body when it is confronted with a possible life-threatening situation. It can also be triggered by something that reminds you of a threatening event in your past. Feelings of panic can be very scary, but the feelings are related to your past – not to a threat in the present. Even although you feel terrified, you are not in any real danger.
4. Go and see a doctor or counsellor. Sometimes people find anti-anxiety medication helps them cope with panic attacks. However, identifying the psychological root – and then getting help in dealing with that – is the most effective treatment approach.
5. Let others close to you know that you suffer from panic attacks. People who have never experienced a panic attack may find it hard to understand what you are going through. However, you can help them with this by sharing your difficult experiences with them. In fact, many people want to help those they love – but they don’t know what to say or do. Thus, if you can be more open with them, then they can reach out and offer you support.
6. Don’t avoid those situations which have led to a panic attack in the past. Avoidance will only ‘reinforce’ the disorder … So the more you avoid the dreaded situation the more panic the avoided situation generates. Should a panic attack occur, don’t attempt to fight the feelings. Instead, allow the feelings to wash over you … and then drain away. Focus on staying in the present moment.
7. Focus on slowing your breathing down. This help to ensure that your brain is receiving the appropriate amount of oxygen. That will help reduce your anxiety levels, and the panic attack will dissipate and end.
“Half of the cure is realizing that you are not alone, that this ‘illness’ actually exists like any other physical illness; you are not making it up and you are not some self-indulgent, self-obsessed narcissist who’s looking for pity or an excuse not to show up to work or school.”—Ruby Wax (Sane New World)
“1. Get more sleep
2. Drink more water
3. Get more exercise
4. Read more
5. Get more organized
6. Clean more often
7. Explore more
8. Relax more
9. Have more patience
10. Be happy”—(via wewillbefitandhealthy)
“Beauty is not long hair, skinny legs, tanned skin or perfect teeth. Beauty is the face of who cried and now smiles, beauty is the scar on your knee since you fell when you were a kid, beauty is the circles when love doesn’t let you sleep, beauty is the expression on the face when the alarm rings in the morning, it’s the melted makeup when you have a shower, it’s the laughter when you make a joke you’re the only one who can understand, beauty is meeting his gaze and stopping understanding, beauty is your gaze when you see him, it’s when you cry for all you paranoias, beauty is the lines marked by time. Beauty is what we feel in the inside which also shows outside us. Beauty is the marks the life leaves on us, all the kicks and the caresses the memories leave us. Beauty is letting yourself live.”—Emma Watson
“Ten Steps on Loving a Girl with Anxiety:
Step 1. Her fears are very much real to her, never say that they aren’t.
Step 2. Don’t tell her to think positive, because sometimes she can only think of the worst possibility that could happen.
Step 3. Never tell her that she’s “overreacting” during an attack, because the anxiety gives her no other choice.
Step 4. Face to face confrontation isn’t always the best idea. If she doesn’t want to meet up, leave her be and don’t get mad.
Step 5. Don’t ever, EVER, tell her that you understand how she feels, because odds are, you don’t.
Step 6. Blaming her for having anxiety is never okay, no matter how mad you are or even if you don’t mean it. She didn’t choose to be this way.
Step 7. Don’t leave her alone because if you do, all she’s left with are her thoughts.
Step 8. Tell her things are going to be okay, because even though it’s not always true, it’ll give her some hope.
Step 9. Don’t make her confront her fears if she doesn’t want to. Sometimes it’s only going to make it worse.
Step 10. Love her. Love everything about her, especially her bad side. Because sometimes all she needs is for you to hold her hand and make her feel like she is worth more than her disorder, because she is.”—a.m.n.
“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.”—Elisabeth Kübler-Ross (via onlinecounsellingcollege)
“We have experienced some of the worst situations that life can throw at one person. Public and private ridicule, expulsion from family, accusations of lying and laziness, taking a free ride and probably the worst, our loved ones and friends have forsaken us. Who else do you know would still be standing as we are, not many, I assure you! We are articulate, insightful, compassionate, and opinionated. We are firm in our resolve to either beat this affliction or live with it peacefully. We are strong!”—A positive side to Agoraphobia [x]
“Ever hear a really good joke about Polio? Or made a casual reference to someone having Hepatitis? Or maybe you teased your buddy by saying he has Muscular Dystrophy?
Of course you’ve never done that, because you are not a terrible person! You would never make fun of someone for having a physical illness, but folks make all kinds of offhand remarks about people with mental illnesses without giving it a second thought.”—Hank Green x
I just starting taking classes at a new school. I don't know anyone and every time I've seen someone interesting that I wanted to talk to, I've started to feel very anxious and I just end up being by myself. Everyone seems very nice, I'm just not brave enough to initiate conversation, and I'm starting to feel that, since no one else is initiating conversation with me, they just don't want to talk to me. What do I do?
Starting new classes can be nerve wracking but once you settle in it may get easier. They might be just as nervous as you are, you never know! Start talking about little things, ask a question about the class maybe, or complement their appearance, you may like the shoes they’re wearing, or their hair style. Take it one step at a time, there’s no rush! Message me how it goes, sorry for the lateness of this reply. I hope this helps :)
“Your brain is wired for survival, not happiness. That is why it keeps bringing up negative emotions, past mistakes and worries about the future. Because of this wiring, you can get stuck in repetitive cycles of self-criticism, worry and fear that interfere with your ability to enjoy the present moment.”—Why anxiety is so hard to manage (via tywin)
The thing that sucks about mental illness is that if you aren’t depressed enough, suicidal enough, bad enough, nobody cares. Nobody cares until you reach their standard, and that standard is when your problem is bad enough to effect them
The amount of people who can relate to this makes me equally incredibly sad and immensely angry
1. Cut your hair every now and then. Fresh starts are always nicer than you think. Who needs split ends anyways.
2. Pick a song you really like. Listen to that song a lot. And I mean a lot. Dance around your room naked to that song, beat the song lifeless till it annoys the hell out of you. Then pick a new song and go through the same process. We all need to really hear music, we need to understand what the song we are listening to is really about.
3. Paint your toes black, make it as perfect as possible. Then, scratch it off. Remember nothing is permanent.
4. Go on a run with your dog. Try to race him and beat him. Realize you can out run many things. Then go back and pet your dog, realize that some things you need to go back for.
5. Decorate a plain backpack. Glue on sparkles, glitter, diamonds, newspaper and magazine clippings, lace & ribbon, anything else that may fancy you. Remember, you don’t have to be the same person you were a minute ago.
6. Buy some pretty lights and string them up in your room. Turn off all the lights except for one when you go to bed. Remember it isn’t always dark and lonely. Change your perspective.
7. Lay outside one night. Breathe in breathe out. Accept that you are only one person and cannot do everything at one time. You can take your time. The creator of the stars you’re looking up at did not do it all in one day. Pace yourself.
8. Get up every morning and stand in front of the mirror. Naked, fully clothed, backwards, upside down, who cares how, just do it. Observe yourself. Notice the wrinkles under your eyes from laughing a lot. Count your freckles. Admire your ass. Then name 3 things you love about yourself. You need to love yourself.
”—Tips from Blossite on how to be okay with yourself. (via blossite)
“It may be safer, warmer and more comfortable, always living on the inside looking out, but after a while, the sound of the rain is just not enough anymore; you forget how it feels. And though you may never forget who you are, if you stay away from the world too long, you are guaranteed to forget who you were meant to be. Without others you will lose yourself.”—adam stanley Still Life with Plastic Roses (via iamadamstanley)
How can i fix my friendship with my bestfriend? After my anxiety started i departed. And i can see that she gave up on me. Shes hanging on with other friend now. We are still in touch but not as much as we used to. I talked to her a long ago about my problem but i could she that she could understand me as much i needed. I text her now and then. She is the kind of person that calls people everyday and talk. Me on the other hand i dont and that why shes a bit angry with me. Am i too selfish!??
Firstly, sorry for the lateness of this reply it was buried under messages from other blogs. It’s common for people with anxiety to feel guilty if their relationships deteriorate. It’s hard for people to understand what you’re going through. I think one of the best things you can do is explain to her how hard it is for you, if she really is your friend she’ll be understanding towards your situation. Also try to show how much you appreciate her, invite her over, spend the day together maybe. You’re not selfish, everyone has different ways of keeping in touch with their friends, some have a more relaxed approach but that doesn’t make them any less a friend. A lot of people leave your life when you’re dealing with something like this but the friends that stick by you when you’re dealing with mental health problems will be there forever, it’s hard for them too so remember not to take them for granted. I hope this helps, message me anytime, sorry for taking so long to reply!
Mentally ill people are not the problem. Inaccessible, unaffordable health care is the problem. Stigma is the problem. Lack of treatment is a problem. Lack of understanding is the problem. Lack of compassion is the problem. Not taking people seriously is the problem. Lack of honest conversation and open dialogue is a problem. Using jails as a housing facility for mentally ill persons is a problem. Do you understand me. Mentally ill people are not the problem.