“The fact that you’re struggling doesn’t make you a burden. It doesn’t make you unloveable or undesirable or undeserving of care. It doesn’t make you too much or too sensitive or too needy. It makes you human. Everyone struggles. Everyone has a difficult time coping, and at times, we all fall apart. During these times, we aren’t always easy to be around — and that’s okay. No one is easy to be around one hundred percent of the time. Yes, you may sometimes be unpleasant or difficult. And yes, you may sometimes do or say things that make the people around you feel helpless or sad. But those things aren’t all of who you are and they certainly don’t discount your worth as a human being. The truth is that you can be struggling and still be loved. You can be difficult and still be cared for. You can be less than perfect, and still be deserving of compassion and kindness.”—Daniell Koepke (via psych-facts)
Hi. My girlfriend messaged me a few minutes ago (she has BPD and depression and anorexia) and said that she's sick of living and wants to die. She told me she loved me and said goodbye and then said she was going to shoot herself. I love her so much, what can I say to help her if she's not already gone? Please help me. I've tried so hard to help her but idk please
If she is genuinely saying her goodbyes to you, with the intention of killing herself then you need to ring the emergency services immediately. Try and get back in contact with her and keep her talking on the phone. She is a danger to herself and could fatally hurt herself, especially if she has access to guns.
“We have experienced some of the worst situations that life can throw at one person. Public and private ridicule, expulsion from family, accusations of lying and laziness, taking a free ride and probably the worst, our loved ones and friends have forsaken us. Who else do you know would still be standing as we are, not many, I assure you! We are articulate, insightful, compassionate, and opinionated. We are firm in our resolve to either beat this affliction or live with it peacefully. We are strong!”—A positive side to Agoraphobia [x]
I have health anxiety.... I think that I have something and then worry about it constantly until a dr tells me I don't! Right now, I am convinced that my ex bf has given me HIV even though at the time when I was with him he said that he always used a condom with other people, so it's a low risk. He's not around to reassure me anymore so I have room to doubt it! My test is in 4 days and I don't know how to cope, I can't stop worrying about getting a positive result.
Think of it as, “You’re innocent until proven guilty.” You’re HIV free, until you’re told otherwise, there’s no point in worrying about it. It’s not going to hurry up the time until you get your results, it will probably make the days feel longer. Convincing yourself that you have it doesn’t mean you actually do, you can’t self diagnose yourself with things like this. HIV is a very treatable illness nowadays, and if by chance you do have it it’s better to find out now so you can take the right medication to keep you healthy. Message me how it goes! I hope this helps :)
“Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t.”—Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free (via observando)
You are allowed to grieve the years you lost to mental illness. You’re allowed to be mad that it happened to you. You’re allowed to pine after the person you might have been had it been different. But don’t let that get in the way of your growing into your new self and following a wholly new path for your life.
I've been dealing with depression, anxiety, and self harm since i was 13. I'm now 20. i was diagnosed with severe ADD when i was 10. I've always had a habit of clearing my throat and having compulsive behaviors but I'm noticing within the past year my anxiety and panic attacks have gotten worse and those 'habits' have become more noticeable and prominent to myself, my girlfriend, and my friends. Lately I've been thinking I have mild OCD and tourettes could be a possibility? Thoughts???
I’m not too sure about the tourettes, but it does sound like you have obsessive habits. If it’s getting worse I suggest going to see a doctor, so you can get professional help because you shouldn’t have to live like this. They can help you get better. Sorry I can’t be of more help, message me anytime.
so i just got invited to a party and the last time i went to a party was 5 years ago, when my anxiety wasn't even half as bad as it is now. i stopped going to therapy because i was getting too bad and it felt like i was getting worse and i can rarely even leave the house at this point. i dropped out of high school and haven't experienced much of anything in my life because of this and i'm 19 and i don't want to miss out on any more than i already have. but i don't know how to fight this :(
If you can’t/didn’t make it to the event remember that there will be other parties and you can retake exams. You need to take any help that is offered to you because if you leave this, it may get worse. You need to want to fight this, your anxiety will wait around for you to decide when that day will be. Sadly with mental illness there is no quick fix, there is no magic wand and most people have to learn that the hard way. So you can either wait another day to start fighting or start fighting now. You can do this, you need to have a little faith in yourself. Remind yourself that these horrible thoughts and feelings racing around your body,theycan not hurt you. Try and go back to therapy, see if you can stick at it. Go and see your doctor, discuss what other methods you can use. You may want to try medication but it’s not for everyone and that’s a decision you’ll have to make on your own. With time and patience it should get easier. Persistence is key, do a little bit each day, set achievable goals for yourself. Don’t rush into the things that really scare you, work your way up to them. I’m sorry for the lateness of this reply, my ask box has been full with non-anon messages. Message me anytime, I should be quicker at replying the next time. I hope this helps :)
My whole life if struggled with depression and I've dealt with it myself. If always done pretty good. My boyfriend recently started having panic attacks, he's on medication but they keep switching him. Most of his panic attacks revolve around me. He has them when I leave for someplace without him or when I want to do something without him. I understand it's not his fault, but it's starting to weird me out. It's really stressing me out and making me anxious and upset..
Separation anxiety disorder is a very real thing and it does put strain on the people around those who suffer from it. Maybe sorting out his medication will help? Constantly switching from one medication to the next can really effect you, but finding the right medication and sticking at it should help. Perhaps a bit of tough love? I’m not too sure it’s a difficult situation. As long as it’s just his anxiety, leaving him for a bit isn’t going to hurt him, reassure him that that’s all it is. If you keep staying every time he asks it may get worse until he can never be without you. On the flip side, assess the severity of his distress, if he’s really struggling it may be better not to leave him, it could make it worse. This is a difficult one, I know, but it’s better to deal with this now than later. Tell him that you’re supportive and you’re understanding having been in a similar situation, but you need your own space too. Remember that everyone deals with mental illness in their own way and some need more help overcoming it than others. I hope this helps, sorry for the lateness of this reply. Message me anytime :)
For the people who message me their queries; I’m sorry if I can not get back to you straight away, when starting this blog I didn’t realise how popular it would become and it’s only me running this. I will get through all your questions, one by one. Some days it may only take ten minutes to reply and others it may take longer but I will answer your questions. Thank you.
You will change. You’re not the same person you were three years ago. You’re not even the same person you were three minutes ago and that’s okay. Especially if you don’t like the person you were three minutes ago.
People come and go. Some are cigarette breaks, others are forest fires.
You won’t like your name until you hear someone say it in their sleep.
You’ll forget your email password but ten years from now you’ll still remember the number of steps up to his flat.
You don’t have to open the curtains if you don’t want to.
Never stop yourself texting someone. If you love them at 4 a.m., tell them. If you still love them at 9.30 a.m., tell them again.
Make sure you have a safe place. Whether it’s the kitchen floor or the Travel section of a bookshop, just make sure you have a safe place.
You will be scared of all kinds of things, of spiders and clowns and eating alone, but your biggest fear will be that people will see you the way you see yourself.
Sometimes, looking at someone will be like looking into the sun. Sometimes someone will look at you like you are the sun. Wait for it.
You will learn how to sleep alone, how to avoid the cold corners but still fill a bed.
Always be friends with the broken people. They know how to survive.
You can love someone and hate them, all at once. You can miss them so much you ache but still ignore your phone when they call.
You are good at something, whether it’s making someone laugh or remembering their birthday. Don’t ever let anyone tell you that these things don’t matter.
You will always be hungry for love. Always. Even when someone is asleep next to you you’ll envy the pillow touching their cheek and the sheet hiding their skin.
Loneliness is nothing to do with how many people are around you but how many of them understand you.
People say I love you all the time. Even when they say, ‘Why didn’t you call me back?’ or ‘He’s an asshole.’ Make sure you’re listening.
I really need some advice...I got really sick awhile ago (and still am) I was already filled with anxiety before that but this just pushed me over the edge. So as my health got worse I was in and out of the hospital many times, but got so bad I had to stay there for a few days. I was pretty weak so after those few days I stayed at my mothers house so she could help me get some strength back. So what I really need help on is the fact that I'm very scared to go back to my own house (continued)
I’m replying to both parts of this question in this one message.
Firstly, sorry for the lateness of this reply, I have been going through my ask box. It is important to go back home, but don’t force it if you’re not comfortable. Perhaps reintroduce yourself back into your home surroundings slowly. Start off just going to the house for an hour, do some cleaning, make yourself something to eat or maybe just watch a film. Build your confidence up slowly by spending time in your house in the day while still staying at your parents in the evening. When you start feeling more comfortable at home begin to stay there later into the evening until you can stay for the whole night. Do you parents have a dog? Dogs are great company when you’re in a house by yourself, if they do maybe you can borrow the dog for a few days. You could also ask a friend over to stay the night with you, or even ask your Mum, she’s obviously aware of your situation. Do you think you maybe have separation anxiety? Slight apprehension about being away from your family and living alone again? Remember, the great thing about parents is that it doesn’t matter what time of day it is, you can always go home. Just try not to make a habit of it, you need to reclaim your independence again. You can do it, believe in yourself! Sorry again for the lateness of this reply, I hope this helps. Message me anytime :)
hi, I live in the uk and today we had a warm sunny day for the first time in months and I've found that whenever it is sunny now, I get this really really strange feeling. it's like nostalgia, but it's horrible. I feel anxious with a tight chest like I'm waiting for something, and like the small town I've lived in my whole life feels unfamiliar and strange to me. last summer I had problems with self harm that I've dealt with now. do you think this is to do with my anxiety, or something more? :(
Sorry for the lateness of this reply.
I’m not too sure, it could very well be related to your anxiety. Anxiety is triggered in different ways for different people and can bring up various feelings and emotions with it. How long have you been feeling like this for? You could perhaps be subconsciously feeling anxious about your previous self harm issues. If it happened during the summer perhaps that’s what is triggering your feelings of uneasiness? You need to remind yourself that these are just feelings and emotions you’re going threw, nothing more. I know that sometimes it can be horrible but you will get through it. Talk to someone you know about how you are feeling. Message me back if you can and again, sorry for the lateness of this reply. I hope this helps :)
I've been having problems with my anxiety in my relationship. I'm constantly confiding in my boyfriend because he's the only one I fully trust but it's gotten to the point that he gets frustrated and told me he's overwhelmed because no matter what there's always something wrong and I'm always upset with something. I feel awful for stressing out about everything and now I'm starting to become afraid of talking to him and I don't know what to do.
You don’t know when your anxiety will get better so it’s good to confide in people, but it’s hard for them too. It’s better if you can confide in people who do this sort of thing for a living, like a counselor or a doctor. You could confide in a friend, a family member, an internet anxiety group or me! Tell him you’re worried you burden him with too much but you understand offloading all your fears onto him is difficult. Mental Illnesses don’t magically fix themselves, it takes time and patience but you can get there. Maybe write in a diary? Right all the things that worry you and come up with your own solutions to try and fix it. Communication is key but your boyfriend may not have the answers that you’re seeking, a professional could do. I’m sorry for the lateness of my reply, I’ve had a lot of messages recently! I hope this helps. Message me anytime :)
I've been thinking for a while that I've had minor social anxiety but nothing severe enough to require treatment or meds or anything until the other weekend when I drank for the first time and became fully aware of how much it impairs my thoughts about myself and interactions with other people and for once I could say that I was happy since I could talk without wanting to cry about little things. I don't know what to think, now, in terms of severity and what to do. Any advice?
You have to think about how much your social anxiety controls your life. Social anxiety is very common but in small doses, it becomes a problem when it starts to control the way you act and the way you behave in and around social situations. Obviously if drinking is the only way you can relax and open up to people then your social anxiety is a problem so it’s down to you to investigate further how severe your anxiety is. Perhaps right down for seven days every time you over think or worry about a social interaction, maybe just make a tally in a notebook and at the end of the week look at how many times social anxiety has controlled your thoughts. Personally I think you should talk to someone about how this is troubling you, even if you don’t want to take it further than that at least talk to someone about it. I hope this gives you some ideas, apologies for the lateness of my reply, I’m going through my ask box one at a time! Message me anytime :)
Hi. I'm the girl who wrote to you about being taken off her meds by her pediatrician. I'm 15. Before that day I had never met that doctor. My mom refuses to send me to a specialist or therapy for money reasons. I still haven't been put on new medications and the doctor said that it is because I'm not diagnosed with depression. She also told me that the reason my last medication didn't work is because I have bipolar disorder in my family (my great grandma).
You shouldn’t of been denied help and I’m very sorry that has happened to you. Perhaps there is someone else you can get help from? Do you have a school nurse you can talk to about this? Obviously if there’s a money issue it’s going to be difficult but you really need to discuss this further with your parents. Research mental health groups that work in your local area and see if there’s anything they could do to help, be it counselling or something along though’s lines. This shouldn’t go untreated, even if you don’t get medication there are other methods, like counselling as I said before. I’m sorry for the lateness of this reply, my ask box is full. You can get through this, you need to believe in yourself and your inner strength. I believe in you, come and chat whenever you need to! I hope this helps xx
I don't think I have depression, but my best friend said she thinks I do. I sit by myself all the time and I don't socialize, I lost the majority of my friends because of it. There are bullies but idc about them. It's hard for me to get the energy to get out of her bc I really don't want to face the world. I cry a lot more often and I'm like a selective mute. I've lost my appetite and the last time I genuinely laughed was like...a month ago. I don't think I have depression. What do you think?
I wouldn’t be able to diagnose you over the internet I’m afraid but when people around you start to notice something is wrong then there’s obviously a problem. People go through fazes of feeling down but depression is a lot more than that, and there can be physical symptoms too like; no appetite, sleeping badly and having aches and pains.There are different scales of severity with depression, if you had extremely severe clinic depression you’d know about it and everyone around you would too. That doesn’t mean you don’t have depression, you may do, so I suggest talking to your friend about it and/or a family member to see what steps you can take.
I'm sorry to bother you but help please :( I have been worried that I have had anxiety for a while, but while I was at cadets it made me think about how serious it might be. I was told to take the deck (basically stand up and shout orders at all of the people there) and I started to get really really scared, my heart was pounding and my hands were shaking and stuff, I couldn't stop digging my nails into my hands :/ I managed to get out of it at first but my heart was still pounding (part one)
I’m answering part one and part two of this message together.
Firstly, sorry for the lateness, I have quite a few asks at the moment. You’re not overreacting, it sounds like you had a panic attack, if you’ve never had a panic attack before they can be very frightening and debilitating. Panic attacks can just be a one off thing, you may never have one again but you’ve been worrying about your anxiety for a while so it’s best to talk to someone about it. It’s very important not to avoid any places where you have panic attacks (if you ever have another one that is) or extreme anxiety because it’s a slippery slope, keep going to cadets.Tell someone how it’s been effecting you. Also, is there anything in your life at the moment that could be causing anxiety? If it’s something you can change, try to. Message me about it if you want and we can go over it :) Remember to tell someone and sorry again for the lateness.
Would it be classed as an anxiety disorder if you associate things with bad memories so they make you worry so much you shake and cry and heart beats loudly and feel sick etc etc because your so scared of it happening again? Because I've had this for a while now.
I honestly couldn’t say over the internet, but what you’ve described actually sounds like a symptom of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) which is an anxiety disorder. Being clinically diagnosed with an anxiety disorder can be a long process because the doctor needs to make sure it can’t be anything else. If you can, get to a doctor so you can be properly diagnosed. Having an anxiety disorder isn’t just one symptom, it’s an array of things that cover a wide spectrum. I’m sorry I can’t be any more help to you but I’m not a doctor, I’m just going off experience and self-teaching. If you want to talk to private about anything don’t hesitate :)
I get my meds from my pediatrician. Last time I went I had a new doctor. I told her that the meds is was on made me shakes and I had to stop taking them. She took me off of meds in general. She said that since I wasn't diagnosed with depression too it couldn't be that bad. But I've been so anxious lately. I had to HORRIBLE anxiety attacks today (throwing things, pulling my hair, vomiting-tmi) (one was in public). My parents also have anxiety but yell at me for it which just makes it worse. Cont.
If you’re that bad then your pediatrician shouldn’t have taken you off medication. If you couldn’t cope with the medication you were on they could of tried other medication to see if that benefits you. Definitely go back to your doctor and discuss what they can do to help you. Maybe they’ll suggest counselling, if you have a pediatrician you’re obviously a young teenager and some doctors are reluctant to put young teenagers on strong medication, even if the symptoms are bad. I know you won’t want to hear this but an anxiety attack is just a rush of adrenaline, you need to tell yourself that when you’re feeling at your worst. With mental illness you do find out who your true friends are. You need to educated them on why you’re like this, explain to them what anxiety does to you, what your brain is doing, what the adrenaline does. If they don’t know they’re never going to be able to understand and relate to your situation. Try your best to explain to them what is going on inside of you and I know that difficult to get across to people. Remind them how appreciative you are of their support and how much you’d struggle without them. Remember, it’s difficult for other people to, this doesn’t just effect you. As for your parents you need to drum it into them that you’re struggling too and they perhaps need to cut you a bit of slack. They are not intentionally trying to hurt you so talk to them about how you’re feeling. Remember, go back to your doctor. I hope this helps, sorry for the late reply I’m backlogged with messages. Message me anytime :)
So, I've been in love with this girl, (I am also a girl), for about a year and 1 half. But it is hard because she claims to be Heterosexual, (although I think she might be bi-curious). She knows I'm pansexual. Now here's where my anxiety started kicking in. She started telling me that she started gaining feelings for this boy and it driving me nuts because I thought that maybe she felt Something for me. I'm having more frequent panic attacks and harder time coping. What can I do?
If your panic attacks are becoming a regular occurrence you need to speak to someone about it. Now, I’m not too good with the relationship side of things but your mental health is important. Whether that means telling this girl how you feel, keeping your distance or just enduring that’s your decision to make. You can do something about the panic attacks, regardless. It sounds like you’re stressing yourself out too much over this and that isn’t good for you. Tell someone about your anxieties, get your panic attacks seen to. I’m sorry I can’t be of further help with the relationship side of things and apologies for the late reply I’m backlogged with messages. I hope this helps, message me anytime :)
I find that whenever I get upset (particularly whenever I'm crying uncontrollably) I repeat phrases to myself, like, "I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself" over and over again. I feel crazy. Is this normal? Or part of an anxiety disorder maybe?
It’s not uncommon for people to have these thoughts, it probably isn’t very healthy though. Some do have these fleeting thought’s but it’s when they don’t go away you have a problem. It’s normal when you’re feeling down to think negatively about yourself. I don’t know whether it’s an anxiety disorder or not but I suggest telling someone your worries so you can get to the root of your problem. It may be an uncomfortable conversation but telling a family member or expressing your issues to a doctor is the best thing you can do. I hope this helps, sorry for the slow reply. Message me anytime :)
hey um sorry to bother you but i've done some online anxiety tests and every one i've done has said that i have a high/severe anxiety level which i feel like i do but i don't want to admit it. i hate talking to people about how i feel because i can never get my words out properly.. how do you think i could tell my mum? i don't want her to feel like it's her fault and i just feel pathetic because there's others win worse situations than me.. thanks x
You’re not pathetic and yes, there are people who are worse off than you but it doesn’t make your problems less important. Maybe write down what you’re going to say? List everything that’s bothering you and then show your Mum and talk through them together. You need to see a doctor if your anxiety is that severe, it’s not fair on you to leave it. The first step is talking to your Mum. I hope this helps and please don’t apologize, you’re not bothering me. I’m here to help, sorry for the slow reply. You can talk to me anytime, anon or off! x
How do you say to someone that your not interested in him??
Just be upfront and honest I suppose. This isn’t really a relationship blog, not my area of expertise I’m afraid. There are plenty of relationship advice blogs on tumblr though! If there’s anything else, don’t hesitate :)
I'm constantly torn between seeing the counsellor about my social anxiety. I find it hard to talk to new people and I never speak up in class. I used to be sort of confident I think, but now I only have two friends I hang out with and while I love them, I feel alone. I feel like a loser and like everyone knows I'm one too. I'm worried that I'm just being dramatic and that it really isn't that bad and I'm once again blowing things out of proportion. I am ALWAYS doubting myself. I'm so confused.
If you have the option of seeing a counsellor then it might be worth atleast going an introductory consultation. If you feel like this method could work for you you can start to talk through some of your problems. Discuss what you want out of the sessions and explain the things you struggle with daily, if you decide to go ahead with it. If you don’t feel like it worked for you afterwards you haven’t gained or lost anything from it, it just means it’s time to look for a plan B. If your anxiety is effecting you daily then it won’t hurt to get an outsider perspective on it. Your anxiety could become progressively worse if you leave it and you have to decide if that’s a chance you’re willing to take. On the flip side if you don’t feel like speaking to a counsellor is for you then maybe take a different approach to your social anxiety by joining a club. It could be anything, swimming, dancing or going the gym, whatever you enjoy doing. Being surrounded by different groups of people outside school is always a pleasant change and it’s a great confidence builder too. Try and stick with whatever you decide to do, no halfhearted attempts. If you want to get better then this is the way forward. I have faith in you! Sorry for the lateness of this reply, message me anytime xx
(I am getting professional help) I think my anxiety is controlling me day by day more. I tried to suice twice and in all the two of them I was so scared but like all of my negative toughts were controlling me and teling me to kill myself. I didn't want this but this anxiety started to control me so much. I remember fighting myself like" no you are not going to kill yourself" and I was like "yes I am. Beacuse you are doing nothing" it was so scary. I think I am crazy. Am I right?
You are not crazy.
People who do “go crazy” in your words, don’t know they are, they think they’re perfectly normal. Telling me you’re paranoid about going crazy is a good indicator that you’re not. You’re sick. You have an illness just think any other, mental illness can be extremely harmful if the person going through it doesn’t get help so I’m glad you are. You need to control your thoughts, it’s not your rational mind that’s talking to you and making you think these things, it’s your illness and you need to treat it as such. You need to tell whomever you’re getting help from about your suicide attempts because I don’t want you hurting yourself and neither will your loved ones. This is treatable, like any illness it can be beaten. Try mediation to clear your mind.